Bob Schwenkler

Men Cry

Written by on March 3, 2014

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I talked to a counselor this week and he told me that 80% of his male clients cry at some point during their time together. When he asks them when the last time they cried was he said that 80% of these men say that it had not been since childhood.

There are powerful forces at work in our body. Forces that can, and have, changed the course of relationships, companies, countries, and the world.

When these incredible forces are locked up and shut down they will grow bitter and stagnant and they WILL find a way to come out and if they don’t they WILL kill the person they’re trapped within. Men commit 90% of murders. Suicide rates among men in the US are between 4 to 10 times the rate among women.

But we don’t need statistics to prove what we already know… That men are human animals, more of less the same as any other, who need to express themselves just as fully as the rest.

What’s available to men is astounding: Joy, rage, peace, confusion, embarrassment, sadness, ecstasy, fear, wonder…

I cry. A lot. It means I’m strong. It means I’ve got the desire to connect with myself, deeply. To feel fully. To lean into every facet of my experience. To be a mirror and role model for every other (hu)man in my life, including you.

I feel, deeply. I do it firstly for myself. To honor this wonderful collection of bones, blood, and soul that make up my human body.

The amazing thing is though, that the more fully I serve myself in this way the the more fully I can be in service to others.

So, it’s a funny question that I ponder at times. Am I serving myself? Or am I serving you? Or are we both the same and there’s no distinction to be drawn in whom is serving whom?

I don’t ponder it for too long though, it doesn’t really matter. After a few moments in thought I inevitably find myself leaning back into my experience. My focus comes back around to all the living, breathing, feeling, connecting, and crying I’ve got to do.

And I’ve got a lot to do, let me tell you. This is what life is. At least for me, on this day it is.

 

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