Men aren’t taught it, exactly. We’re taught a lot of things, but noticing what sensations are happening in, say, our chest is not one of them. We’re not taught to pay attention to whether it feels open or closed. If the feeling is solid, vaporous, liquid… Is there any movement? What temperature is it? What color? Are its borders solid or fuzzy? Is it stretchy? Solid? Hard? Soft?
We don’t learn much of that touchy feely sh** at all.
How old were you when you learned to
check in with yourself and make conscious decisions based on what you found there?
There’s a component of our existence so fundamentally critical that to honor it completely would mean passing through life in a state of nirvana.
It’s our bodies. Us. You. Me.
You can start small. You can wake up in the morning and just say “hello” to each part. Spend a few moments at each spot and then move to the next. I like to start at my toes, work my way up my legs and through my body, go down my arms, then up my neck and throat and round my chin, lips, nose, cheeks…
All the time paying attention to what’s available to the senses.
Even if it’s nothing. Nothing is a feeling. I promise.
So, like I was saying, as men we aren’t taught this kind of sissy sh**.
Wait, did I just teach you?
Good, it’s about time you learned.
Or if you knew already, it’s about time you knew that I knew.
Or if you knew that I knew then it’s about time what we started sharing it with those who don’t know and talking about it and feeling with each other and always learning more and more to make decisions from this place. This place is incredibly powerful. The empty black desolation in men’s chests has transformed cultures into soil. The expansive radiating warmth in others’ has brought a deep, full life to millions.
Emotional fluency is a choice to be made. It’s a series of actions, repeated day after day. It’s something you learn and it’s something you can be taught. It’s something you can teach yourself.
Emotional fluency is a sign of strength. It shows that you are a congruent human being.
Emotional fluency is sexy. It means that you’re in touch with your own wants and desires, and if there’s something hotter than a man that knows exactly what he wants and goes after it I haven’t heard of it yet.
Emotional fluency is necessary. Without it you’re living someone else’s dream. Or nightmare. You won’t get to choose which.
When you choose emotional fluency you are an unstoppable, magnetic ball of energy. You bring your deepest gift to every person in your life and share it like it was your last chance.
It’s been in you this whole time, whether you were aware of it or not. It’s a part of you.
It’s a choice.
I’m making it.
In what ways are you making it?